The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, July 2004 by Spilogale Inc

Author:Spilogale, Inc. [Spilogale, Inc.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Science Fiction/Fantasy
Publisher: www.Fictionwise.com
Published: 2001-04-16T22:00:00+00:00

Plumage From Pegasus

Paul Di FiliPpo

The Slan Corps Wants You!

“Bristol [Massachusetts] Sheriff Thomas M. Hodgson wants to send certain prisoners nearing the end of their sentences halfway around the world to places such as Afghanistan. The program Hodgson is proposing would be part Foreign Legion, part Peace Corps. The maverick Republican sheriff said newly released prisoners could help rebuild war-torn countries while also benefiting personally.... Prisoners would have to volunteer."

—"Sheriff: Let prisoners rebuild Afghanistan,” Eric Convey, The Boston Herald, January 31, 2004.

Luckily, I had packed enough reading material for the nearly twenty-four-hour trip from the U.S.A. to Pakistan. Two large postmodern British space operas, a fantasy trilogy by a promising new writer, Dozois's and Datlow and Windling's Year's Best volumes, a short-story collection that contained a recent Nebula winner, and a few fanzines. As it was, I had barely enough material to last me, and had to go back and memorize the copyright pages in the short-story collection and anthologies to kill the final five minutes before landing.

Once I had swiftly passed through Customs—my special passport garnered instant recognition and respect—I was met by a delegation from the Slan Corps, veteran members already resident in the country. Oh, of course, the Slan Corps wasn't the official name of our sponsoring organization, one of the most brilliant successes in the history of American diplomacy. To the federal government we were known as the Futurological Ambassadors. But every man and woman in the FA knew we were really the Slan Corps. The U.S.F.A. insignia on our uniforms—designed by Barclay Shaw—could not conceal what was in our hearts and minds, or deny the prosthetic tendrils beneath our hair that substituted for a regimental tie or ring.

Among my greeters, I recognized Jenny Cribb. Jenny and I had been on the Worldcon Committee together in 2006. I nodded in her direction and she spoke first.

“Live long and prosper,” Jenny said, making the appropriate hand-gesture.

“TANSTAAFL,” I replied.

“Do you want your briefing verbally or as hardcopy?"

“My eyes are just a little bit sore from the flight. Why not tell me what's up in your own words?"

“Sure. Let's get in the car, though. A lot of this stuff isn't cleared for the mundanes."

I shook hands all around with the other Slan Corps “geeks"—a term like “queer” that only members of the clan could honorably apply to themselves—and we soon found ourselves in an armored limo being driven through the streets of Lahore. The limo featured an inbuilt DVD player showing the first season of Babylon 5.

“Since the implosion of the Pakistani government last month,” Jenny said, “we've had our hands full just maintaining civic order and vital services. India is chafing like a thoat at the bit to come in and take over, but we've held them off so far."

One of the other geeks who had introduced himself as Chester “Little Fuzzy” Seeger snorted and said, “It's worse than trying to get the riders of Rohan to fight Mordor. The Hindus can't get it through their heads that we're all on the same side.

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